• PeekAMama

A Guide to Effective Relationships: For those of us that don't know everything.

Attracting Attention with Bad Intentions

Every woman wants to look her best when going out. There is no greater self-esteem boost then getting tons of attention that reinforces feeling attractive. How are you going to catch a man if you aren’t putting out any bait? Well women have gone from putting flowers in their hair to spruce up their appearance, to currently enhancing their “assets” with cosmetic surgery. No matter what you do to attract attention you usually will.

Every action has a reaction. Just because men respond to your outer appearance does not mean that they have good intentions for what lies beneath. The going narrative is that the most beautiful women with artificial smiles, hair, butts and breast have the best opportunities when it comes to men. Indeed these women do demand the attention of more men, but in building effective relationships, quantity is inconsequential, the goal is quality. If one quality man with good intentions approaches you in comparison to Malibu Barbie's 13 with bad intentions, who is the winner?

All women are not created equally but they are all created beautiful. Sometimes we all have to understand that everything isn’t for everyone. Every woman is not meant to look the same. We are all not supposed to have (no matter how much we want it) perky DD breast or voluptuous bodies. 

In the end love and commitment are blind. The most oddly paired couples seem to have the most longevity. Guess what! It has nothing to do with her 24 inch waist and her 42 inch hips. It is simply because that man had good intentions for that woman.

Well how the hell do I know what the men's intentions are? Simple! Pay attention, the men who approaches you with catcalls, hey Ma, or damn you sexy; RUNNNNNNN! These men have bad intentions for you. First off no matter how you are dressed or where you are going a man with good intentions will approach you as a lady.

Although it is extremely important to only accept and reciprocate interactions with men with good intentions, it is very important to understand that doesn’t mean that he is the guy for you. The more interactions you have with a man that has good intentions for you will determine if the relationship should be pursued. There are tons of men with good intentions, the first one may not be the best fit for you, so if your interactions with a good man prove to spark no feelings or chemistry at all, please let him go. If he’s supposed to be yours a reconnection will occur, if not why hold on to another woman's meant to be.

Understanding your own beauty and self-worth will help you determine what to do in the end. Let’s face it no one actually thinks the guy who approached you saying “Damn your ass is fat!” is going to be the one, his intentions for you are physical he didn’t even have the decency to ask you for your name. 


It is easy to become mixed up and sometimes miss the signs that should detour your acceptance of a man who is pursuing you. Many of us myself included have decided to give the “wrong guy” a shot and ended up with heartache, stress, wasted time but most importantly lessons that we have learned.  

Understanding that sometimes you have made that wrong choice is difficult to do. However, it is important to not only change your situation if it is detrimental to your personal growth but to also take the lessons learned and apply them to future relationships. 

We navigate the earth by learning lessons and improving our decisions to get further than we have previously. The same is true for our romantic encounters.  How we determine what is best for us (as this will differ for everyone) is to date and make changes to our ideals and notions based on experience. Again every man that shows honorable intentions towards you will not be compatible and sometimes the intentions of a man will change.

A good man will not change, but his intentions may. Understanding that just because a man started out wanting you and expressing his good intentions for you specifically doesn’t mean that those intentions and feelings will remain the same.  Many platonic friendships have grown into long lasting and healthy marriages. Just as many romantic relationships have turned into long lasting and healthy platonic friendships.

So Step one to building an effective relationship:

Only entertain men who have good intentions towards you. If you find yourself only wanting to have interactions with men whose sole interest is physical you are simply not ready to build and effective relationship.

Don’t be discouraged by having made a bad relationship choice before, take the lesson and learn from past actions. 

“You can’t build a castle on a faulty foundation.”


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